She/Her
April 11, 2022
“I am both. Or maybe neither.
Or better yet, maybe I am one and the same.” – Juhi Salim
She sleeps in my bed almost every night
Tossing and turning, never finding it right
Poking Her in the process all along
I writhe under this constant tug of war.
She chooses to sprawl on the starboard
Oaring me in by her process of thought
Blackened by the taunts of tomorrow
She teaches me to keep myself under wraps.
She listens to the lectures of my God
Fighting battles against the neo-minded
Shamed and Harassed for choosing different
Everyday she loses a fight she had won yesterday.
Her, on the other hand prefers the left
Being confident means being vulnerable
I learned it from her amidst the whips of yesterday
That conforming and checking boxes isn’t the way.
An apostle of liberation and pro-choice
Fighting battles against the narrow-minded
Shamed and Harassed for choosing different
Everyday a new and uglier fight is lost by her.
And so, with right and left taken away
I choose to settle in between them
Letting she and her breathe equally within me
Exhausted of the toll these expectations take on me.
There are neither mantras nor Mutiny in me
Acres of conflict of past, present and future
I am Shamed and Harassed for choosing myself
My battles are within me and everyday I lose them. Unsurprisingly.
She and Her for decades are apart
They have sparred us against each other
You can be either she or her
But I am both. Or maybe neither.
Or better yet, maybe I am one and the same.